The Sadness within Our Hearts
by shingeki-no-heichou
Summary: The Titans consume our beings, yet do not know the sadness that they leave behind for us. Eren cannot transform, but when titans show up, he fights them off. Not knowing that he had committed something horrible.


_I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin or its characters._

As the rain slowly beat down on the window next to him, Eren was tossing and turning in his sleep. His mind had become unstable since the accident that had happened just the other day. He kept having frequent nightmares, that would leave him grasping for breath and drenched in sweat. The sudden thought of seeing loved ones and his comrades being ripped apart limb by limb by titans was bloodcurdling. Their faces filled with fear, begging to be saved. He couldn't get their pain stricken faces out of his mind, but yet he could become one of them. Those goddamn giants took away his mother, leaving him only with Mikasa and Armin. He was so tired of seeing people die; he just wished that they would all just disappear.

"_Ne, Armin, where did you get that book from?" "I took it from a house that was smashed by the titans. Look, it has pictures of an icy land and a big thing full of water; oh it says here that it is called an "ocean". "The outside world… Armin, once the titans are gone let's all go outside, alright?" "Mmph!"_

As Eren's eyes opened, his vision fixated on the oil lamp in the corner, which was illuminating the dark room. He wondered what had gone wrong the other day. Apparently, Hanji asked him to turn into a titan so she could do some experiments. Eren tried and tried, but he couldn't seem to transform. Also, the Corporal's piercing gaze that was entirely fixated on him didn't help. So, Eren asked if he could go rest, but was denied. "Oi, you piece of crap, you better figure out a way to transform before dusk or else I will kick the shit out of you until you can't breathe" Rivaille sneered. He then walked over to him and came close enough to Eren's face, that he had flinched. "Once your done here I want you to come back to my office and-"

Suddenly, a large thumping sound came charging their way. The ground shook and Rivaille went straight to the stables. He then shouted and said "Oi, Eren, were going to get everyone out, so spare us some time". With that, Rivaille rushed on into the castle to alert everyone and get on their horses. Then, emerging from the unsettling forest was not one, but three titans. Their feet crushing the ground as they walked out of the forest and heading in the direction that the castle was in. Eren then focused, with his anger overtaking him, he had turned into a titan. However, he remembered nothing of becoming a titan, or anything that happened while he was a titan.

As soon as everyone was out of the castle and onto their horses, Rivaille led them out into another direction. The three titans had already found their way to Eren, and then Rivaille noticed that Petra and Auruo had not come out the castle yet. Their horses were nowhere to be found. "Damn_, Eren better hurry up" _he thought. Grabbing the reins of his horse, he stopped, turning around ordering the others to follow Irvin out of the area. He was almost sure enough everyone had come out of the castle, but then he saw Eren struggling with one particular titan. It strength had matched that of Eren's, but he had no time to waste. He ran straight into the castle to both of the places he saw them last.

The Corporal sped up and found Auruo sitting next a wall clutching his shoulder. His face was down, grasping what appeared to be a stab wound in his right shoulder. "Auruo, what happened? No time for that, you have to get the hell out of here and I have to find Petra". He grabbed him up and let him be his crutch and dragged him onto a spare horse. "Get out of here make sure you find the group, I'm going to retrieve Petra and get us all out of here, including Eren." Somehow Auruo managed to get a grip, and rode off still holding his wound. Once he left, Rivaille had gotten on his horse and went around to the other side of the castle where she was earlier. Before he could even go around a corner, a gigantic fist had pounced into the building, making a gaping hole in the side of the castle. Concrete plummeted to the ground, leaving a mass of debris behind. Luckily, the Corporal had dodged it and proceeded along to find Petra. However, he saw something at the corner of his eye that made him look away out of fear. Petra's body lay on the ground, sprawled out, with a large gash on the side of her head. She was leaking out blood from her head and also a portion of her lower leg. Rivaille perched on his horse, had completely lost it. He looked up to see who had punched the side of the castle, and to his amazement, he saw Eren's fist covered in blood. His ruthless, green eyes filled with hostility were totally focused on the not so small titan before him. With on more hit, he swung at the deviant titan, blowing his head clean off in the process. Rivaille moved out of the way as the now dead titan's body fell down. He glanced up meeting Eren's titan eyes and saw an outraged savage beast. But, Eren's body had finally reached its limit and he went unconscious. Rivaille went to go retrieve him, climbing over the titan body with ease. When he finally got Eren out, he saw tears slowly gliding down his face.

Eren had been worried ever since he heard the news that Petra had died because of him being careless and swinging at the castle, not knowing that Petra was still inside. He ran his fingers into his brunette hair, breathing in and out, trying to calm himself down. He knew that he would have to face everyone sooner or later. He couldn't stay holed up in a room a day. It was still dead of night, but Eren had decided to go take a walk to clear his mind. He knew it wasn't okay to go out of his room without permission, but this time he honestly didn't care.

He roamed the halls of the castle, remembering the hole that was being repaired, was only four rooms away from his. He was happy that he didn't have to sleep in the dungeon because of his heroic actions a couple weeks ago before this accident. He was moved to a new room apparently, which was a spare bedroom that wasn't used at all. Gazing up at the full moon, its glow had soothed his mind, making him smile faintly. Before he went back to his room, he heard faint slow footsteps behind him. Looking over his shoulder, he saw a shorter dark figure grow closer. Finally, it spoke "Why're you out here at this time at night?" He recognized the voice to be Rivaille's and replied "I came here to clear my head, sir." Once he moved closer, his face was lit up by the moonlight showing his exhausted face. Eren gazed at him for a while until Rivaille did something he would never expect him to do. He wrapped his arms around him, giving him a hug. Eren tensed up immediately, but Rivaille was unconcerned and just held onto him. Eren then closed his arms around the others body and embraced his warmth. "I'm truly sorry for what had happened" Eren whispered. Rivaille looked up at him and uttered "Well, apologizing isn't going to make up for anything." They then let go and he focused on Eren's eyes. He did not see those eyes filled with anger or hatred, yet something different. They had sadness, sorrow, and a small glimmer of hope. Rivaille found that to be enough and said "Go back to bed, you have training tomorrow and need to be ready by 8:00." Before he left, Eren grabbed his hand and cupped it on his face and said softly "Thank you, Rivaille." Gently, letting his hand down, the Corporal walked away back to his room leaving Eren in the moonlight.

-_Fin-_


End file.
